My Book Rating System

My book rating system is based on 5 stars. The book must be rated at least 3 stars for a review.

3 Stars: Good story, good plot, good writing.

4 Stars: I was wowed, but something about the story fell short of perfection.

5 Stars: I was either drooling, on the edge of my seat, or falling in love.

If you would like me to review your book, please contact me at 00ibitz@charter.net.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Friday Funnies!

Okay, this one is for those of us with plus years behind us.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,
“SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.”

WELL, YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE:



MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.


I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.


COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?


UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.


THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.


AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.


”YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,” HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.


“WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?” I ASKED.


HE ANSWERED, “IN 1975.  WHY DO YOU ASK?”


“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!” I EXCLAIMED.


HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.


THEN, THAT UGLY,


OLD,


BALD,


WRINKLED FACED,


FAT-ASSED,


GRAY-HAIRED,


DECREPIT


SON-OF-A-BITCH


ASKED,



”WHAT DID YOU TEACH?”

3 comments:

Dina said...

Haha!!!

Linda Covella said...

That's hilarious, Dale. Just the other day my sister said, People always think they look younger than they are :-)

Dale Ibitz said...

It's so true! I think people just remember what they look like, and still see that in the mirror!

Not me, of course. LOL